Arkansasonline

No flies on that!

by Mike Masterson

I appreciate it when readers respond to my opinions. It matters not to me should they agree or disagree (poetic, eh?). I'm always pleased they took their valuable time to read and reflect upon their feelings.

Following a recent column in which I enjoyed speculating on what a day in the life of a roomful of D.C. bureaucratic regulators might be like, I received some complimentary, along with less-than-favorable, email messages.

Here was one reactive letter about that column from reader Ben Novak of Monticello published on the Voices page.

"Mike Masterson has on many occasions written about the pig farm in Northwest Arkansas, trying to get it regulated out of business, but in a recent column he ridiculed the very government that would pass such regulation. You can't have it both ways, Mike. Or do you think that you are the only one who knows what should or should not be regulated?"

Well, by golly, Ben, after lengthy consideration, I believe I might just be the one.

Mike's regulations would be simple. Ignore special, competing business and personal interests who try to use my mandates to their advantage. Regulate only what is demonstrably necessary to maintain a level playing field for everyone and prevent our citizens from being harmed by obviously unscrupulous, wrongheaded or unsafe practices created out of ignorance, stupidity or political favoritism.

I'd classify the hog factory our state Department of Environmental Quality (cough) allowed to operate in the watershed of our precious Buffalo National River, at the very least, as a remarkably wrongheaded decision.

Beyond that, I'd be satisfied letting taxpaying adult citizens in a representative governmental process decide their own personal risks to take. I do believe one of my favorite Ozark armchair philosophers, the Durable Ralph Guynn of Harrison, might proclaim of my regulatory plan: "Ain't no flies on that!"